When you pray, “God make a way” you don’t get to define the way God makes.
When I heard Steven Furtick speak these words, my insides jumped. I instantly felt convicted. I instantly felt the need to apologize for every time I’ve felt distant or doubtful of the Lord simply because he was answering my prayer in his way- instead of mine.
The past week or so I’ve been purposefully thinking of scenarios that have brought doubt. Situations that have led to shame or insecurity or uncertainty simply because God answered my heart’s cry in a way I didn’t see coming.
I can’t tell you how much peace it has brought me.
I’ve been covered in questions and uneasiness and God is lovingly hosing me down with awareness and grace.
He is really teaching me that when I pray for his will to be done, for him to help, to step in -to make a way- that I need to be not only OKAY with that way- but GRATEFUL.
Go back to February.. I was pretty much at my wits end. I couldn’t handle one more birth mom not working out. I couldn’t handle any more time passing by not having a match. I felt done. I felt depleted. And I felt unseen.
His way of doing things these last 26 months of adoption was not mine. His timing was definitely not mine.
Yet I’m so thankful. In March, God’s perfect timing came. I’m thankful to God for grace. Thankful God didn’t give up on my rebel heart or stubborn posture. Thankful for all the reasons it took two years, thankful for the hurdles, and thankful for the questions I now can see answers to. Thankful for this sweet, chubby, drool drenched face that was created in a way that only HE could have made..